How to Find a Mentor
What is the difference between someone who reaches greatness while another flounders? Oftentimes it is a mentor.
I have often sought after mentors in my career and have even asked some outright, but have never had much luck. Being a mentor can be a very time consuming responsibility and can feel almost transactional. How do you avoid that?
The Purpose and Tradition of Mentoring
For many, the purpose of mentoring is to transfer experience, knowledge, and how to’s to a new person (here is a great podcast on mentoring). The idea is that one is a master of this and the other is coming for guidance. This is a one way flow of information that is highly dependent upon the mentor being great at what they are being asked to do. However, these relationships do not always work out, and it is a lot to expect of both persons.
Western cultures oftentimes model their practices and beliefs from Western European nations. The apprenticeship is the former way of training a young person to be a blacksmith, doctor, or mechanic. It is putting complete trust and responsibility on the one who knows how to do the job and to ensure that the apprentice can one day do everything exactly as she are being taught.
A popular modern model for mentorships is analogous of the compass. The North represents having one person serve as your direct mentor, instructing you personally. The South is for you to mentor someone else, as there is always someone who can learn from you. The East and West symbolize your peers and colleagues, those who are learning at a similar level as yourself. While this is an admirable and catchy model, it is also a bit dated.
Simon Senek Says…
A few days ago I was listening to Simon Senek talk in an interview on mentorship, and he made it clear that mentorships are two directional. Meaning, both people learn from this relationship. He sees that as essential in the most successful mentorships.
Ralph Waldo Emerson has famously stated, “Every man I meet is my superior in some way, in that I may learn from him.” Although this quote may not be exact and it seems to be attributable to many others, the philosophy behind it rings true. Whether you have 30 years or 3 days of on the job experience, both individuals can learn something from each other. Being humble and open to learning from another is the best way to approach mentoring.
While I have never had a direct mentor, I have worked with many people that I admire. When I have an opportunity to work together with such a person on a project or initiative, I am given a chance to learn more from them, even if somewhat indirectly. Collaboration and cooperation can lead to informal mentoring and on the job training. This is a great way to avoid that transactional feel in direct mentorships.
Peer Group Mentoring
This is a model taken straight from the European Union. Commissioned to study how to best support young people or lesser experienced workers in being successful in their profession, the answer became using the Peer Group Mentoring model.
The idea is that a group has a facilitator who has been trained to help lead discussions on a myriad of topics. Some are chosen by the facilitator, others by the group members. The group is typically comprised of about six new and three experienced employees.
The goal of this group is two fold. First, to transfer knowledge and expertise between all members, as all are viewed as equal and vital to the success of the school or organization. The second, to build relationships in a safe and positive environment. Having led such groups for years, I can attest to its importance in supporting both new and experienced employees in having successful and meaningful careers.
Concluding Thoughts
So, if your work place does not have a peer group mentoring model, look for someone that you look up to, have some level of access with, and find some way that you can contribute. Team up on a project and develop a working relationship. Remember, iron sharpens iron just as one person sharpens another, dive in and always be ready to learn from another.